till then i just need to sit and focus on what and where god wants of me at this point and time. Speaking of points of time, let me tell of a convo i had last night over cookies and root beer me: have i changed since my (MT) year? them: (noding in deep agreement) me: How? Them: you seem like you dont trust as much Me: You want the truth about my MT year? Them: yeah. Me: I was the way i was for other people so that they would like me. I never dealt with anything that was in front of me for fear that it would blow up o n me and then people would see that true me so i tried to become this person that no one would ever expect would be like the way i truely was. Them: so what happened? Me: I figuredthat i was beating around a giant bush in my life and it was time for me to get over it and i had to do it on my terms so that i would finally learn something not having someone spoon feed it to me on a babby fork. Them: (silence) wow Me: yeah No words for how much Faith God has in us PERIOD | 
